My Life for Hers
by nourgelitnius
Summary: I just traded my life for hers. Spoilers 204.


Being an former elite member of the CIA's black ops, I loved the thrill of the Game. The adrenaline and brain power that was required to get the job done. The feeling of reaching my goal, whatever it had been that day or week or month. Missions were my bread and water, my life force. After being blinded, I had given my all to my recovery. I tried my best to prove myself to the CIA. To prove to them that I could be just as good blind as I was before. I had always held onto a hope that they would give me my life back. But today, I let it all go. Because of a choice that I was making, I would never get the chance to go on a mission ever again. I made the choice. It was either my life or hers.

Never before had I had a friend that I cared for as much as Annie Walker. From the moment that she stepped out of that office and we shook hands, I could feel it. I wasn't lying when I told her that she projected a warm fuzzy aura that I could sense. I somehow just knew. No matter where she was in the DPD offices I could sense her. Feel her moving about. We understood each other to the point of being teased that we could read each others minds. Of course, with my heightened sense of hearing, I could always tell if something was bothering her. That wasn't so unusual, I had picked up on that skill even before I lost my sight. But part of what made Annie special is that she could sense when something was wrong with me. Not an easy task. I knew how to hide my emotions. I had grown up with four, mean ass older brothers.

In a world full of people who didn't care or were moving too quickly to care, we slowed down and took notice of each other.

The other week, while at dinner with Annie, Danielle had called, and from the way that Annie was trying to keep the conversation from me, I could tell that her sister was trying to get out of her exactly what we were, and was it romantic. _Dost_ she had called me. Since I didn't want to ask her what it meant, and I had never been particularly proficient in Turkish, I asked one of the other agents in the DPD what it meant. The literal translation was 'Friend', but, the agent told me, it meant so much more than that. A friend who was a soul mate and other half of you. I knew that Annie was right. And that is why I did it. I knew that if anything were to happen to her, I would never forgive myself. She was the most important person in my life.

I made a trade, my life for hers.

Arthur congratulated me on making a wise career choice and told me that he was looking forward to working with me. He would be sending someone down next week to help transfer all of my equipment and get me settled into my new office.

When I returned to my office I put all my effort into getting Annie back home all the while trying to play down any emotions that may be threatening to leak out. I had no regrets about changing my career for Annie's. The only regret that I had was that I wouldn't be in control of bringing her home any more. I wouldn't be able to step in to make sure that she was safe. I was going to be stuck on the sidelines waiting with baited breath. Risking my life to bring her home today when I may not have the power to bring her home tomorrow.

After being given confirmation that she was in the helicopter and safe, I ambled off toward the bench by the fountain and tried to decide what I was going to tell her. Things were going to be different. No more stopping by her desk to banter, ask how her day, or Thursday night dinners, went. No more teasing her about the fact that she brought me my coffee last. No more catching her in the hallway and walking with her into the DPD. From now on I would be taking the elevator to the seventh floor. I would be lucky if we could manage to have lunch or go to Allen's Tavern more than once a week. And then there was the fact that I would be all over the TV and it could be dangerous for anyone to see and I together. Sure, we could come up with a cover about how we met at the Smithsonian and became such good friends, but what was she going to tell Danielle. What was _I_ going to tell Danielle.

I needed to tell her as soon as possible what was going to happen and I took the cowards way out. I dialed her phone number and waited for her voice mail to connect. I tried to make my voice sound normal.

"Welcome home stranger." Then I clammed up. In the span of a fifth of a second I realized that I couldn't tell her like this. Not over the phone. _Dost_. "Look, find me when you get a moment. We need to talk. I have some news. Hope you had a good night. Later."

I just traded my life for hers.

* * *

><p>Hello everyone. Long time no write. :(<br>So tell me, was I the only one heartbroken by the end of last nights episode? I know that everything is going to work out for the better, but this story just poured from my fingertips. I do feel that the writers could have given this story a little more attention, but as Christopher Gorham said in one of his interviews, it's Annie's story.  
>And for all of you that have been waiting for the next chapter of NSA, do not fret. I lost all inspiration for the story for a long while. So I have rewritten the first two chapters, taken down the third, and I am currently rewriting it. After that, I feel like I can really do something with it. I am not giving up. Also, I have gotten into video editing, so I have an Annie &amp; Auggie video that I am posting. Link is on my profile.<br>Also, reviews keep me off the ledge. :)  
>Happy Writing,<br>Nourgelitnius


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